Friday, March 23, 2007

Angel

As most of you know i ride the bus to and from work. Now I'd like to say i do this to help the environment but the main reason I do is I don't want to pay $3 a gallon for gas. This is another story for another day. I've always had very interesting rides to and from work on these buses but one in particular happened yesterday.

The afternoon bus is usually the most interesting bus of the day. It was raining outside so the buses windows where shut and the genius bus drive didn't have the air on so things where getting a little rank on the bus. With every stop more and more people would get on, remember it's raining outside so everyone wants the bus. About half way through my ride someone in the back yells TURN THE AIR ON!!! SOMEONE HERE HAS STINKY FEET!!! He is in the back of the bus looking forward, a young Hispanic fellow with his pregnant girlfriend where in the middle of the bus with me standing up in the isle. Now remember this guy in the back is facing forward looking forward he has no choice but to look our way. The Hispanic fellow thinks he is talking to him when he yells stinky feet so this Hispanic guy starts to threaten him as he is reaching down to his shorts trying to pull something out. the guy in the back is now trying to stand up to get to this guy and do who knows what to him.(did i forget to tell you I'm sitting right in front of the Hispanic fellow) At this point I'm staring to question why i ride the bus everyday. So it looks like there is going to be an old fashion ass whooping on the bus right in front of me. (Good times!!) Then i realize the Hispanic fellow is not just playing with himself as he grabs at his pants but he's pulling out his gun.(yeehaw) Now i think, so this is how I'm going to leave this world from a gun shoot by an idiot that thinks someone said he had stinky feet. Lucky me!! But then fate intervenes and this Hispanic fellows 5' 1" pregnant girlfriend turns around to the guy in the back and yells "YOU STUPID WHITE CRACKER ASS#*%@ SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP" then she turns to her pistol wielding boyfriend and say "SIT YOUR SORRY MEXICAN ASS DOWN I DON'T WANT TO GET KICKED OF THE BUS IN THE RAIN." I never thought an angel would come in the form of a 5'1" pregnant woman with a tattoo of Jesus holding a smoking gun in his hand on her right shoulder would save my life or at least save me from serious injury. So thank you to my angel for saving my life on the bus.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's awesome!

Mimi said...

johnny that's hilarious! i'm so jealous you get all the good party conversations from this bus experience! i am however not jealous that i don't get to smell all the fun people (& feet) on the bus! was it the mexican's feet? come on, you can tell me!

JP said...

Does this mean I am nothing more than a stupid white cracker ass*&%#?

Anonymous said...

let me guess...then the girl flashed you right? i see how all of your stories go.

Mimi said...

i want more johnny! give us more!